When Overthinking And Overdrive Meet
It's not the best offspring
Hey there,
It’s June and I missed sending out emails for the entirety of #MeMadeMay and that was NOT my intent at all! But when I tell you that May left me over here with my eye twitching and gasping for straws, I mean it.
Atlanta Frocktails went off without a hitch and it was amazing and fun and all sorts of great. But then I had to jump into getting my oldest ready for graduation and her 8th-grade formal. And my littles got promoted to their next grade level. And then I had to make sure my SAL for my newest KnowMe pattern was done. And then, and then, and then I crashed.
2023 Was the Cluster____ I Wasn’t Ready For
And I never fully processed it.
I feel like I’ve been pretending to be ok for the past year when, in truth, I needed some downtime to navigate, process, and breathe. Last year I lost 2 major friendships, a community, my breasts, and a lot of confidence. And through it all, I still got up and wanted to show up for people. Last weekend I went away for work and finally got a chance to process the grief that I’ve felt. I got to look into why I was feeling like I wasn’t good enough, why imposter syndrome was running me ragged and why I felt like I just couldn’t move.
I have these great ideas but I just haven’t been able to move with any of them because I’ve been mentally and emotionally blocked.
Yesterday I started my much-needed healing process. I openly admitted to having feelings about things that make me feel ashamed to even have them. That was a lot because I really strive hard to be emotionally adept, even-keel, and not petty. But the truth is I’m a human with feelings that I’m allowed to have and holding on to them only holds me back from greatness.
I Haven’t Sewn In Almost A Month
And not because my machines have been at the spa either—though now that I think about it having this emotional blockage would have been the best time for me to send them!
I haven’t sewn because I can’t get my thoughts together. I’ve been inundated with ideas but when I sit down, I can’t get them together enough to create. And then I get flooded with feelings that just aren’t positive. This happens when I lack self-care and self-awareness. I get jumbled and can’t sort through things. And this has been royally inconvenient because the pictures for my fall KnowMe pattern are past due and I still haven’t sorted through correcting my pattern that I put into testing in April.
But There Is Good News
My moping around got the best of me for a while. This isn’t the first time that I’ve been creatively blocked and it certainly won’t be the last time. I’ve gotten my pattern in testing edited so hopefully that will be dropping this month. I finally sewed my fall pattern and it’s great so I can’t wait to do the final version and photograph it. I sat down, breathed and am actively working towards updated goals for myself which means I can show up in a way that fulfills me (and you) even more and for that, I’m grateful.
Housekeeping Updates:
If you haven’t heard, Julian and I’s first season of The AudaSEWtea wrapped up and we’re on summer break!
Projector Sewing 101 has 2 dates scheduled so if you need help, get into class!
Father’s Day is coming and I’ve prepped some mystery boxes for the dad in your life.
Exclusive patterns are coming for you!!!
Sending love and gratitude your way, my friend. Keep pushing forward, we’re here for you! 💕